Family or lack there of.......

The Definition of Family can be many depending on who you ask. To me, Family suppose to be a group of members brought together by love, marriage and birth. Families are suppose to grow together, love each other unconditionally and support each other. Family is suppose to spend time together, make everyone's opinion count for something and not judge each other.
I have no idea why I feel this way about Family because mine was never loving, supportive, caring or together. I was brought into a family of chaos. Two people married who were in love with the idea of Marriage and starting a Family yet having no idea what it really meant or what it would take.
I'm 3o years old and feel like I belong to no one and have no supportive "Family". My Biological Father never wanted children and has continued to make me feel unwanted. He has also told me that "just because we have biological ties doesn't mean we should have to interact. My Biological Mother has always put Men before her children. Even leaving while we were sleeping to be with her boyfriends. My Mother caused me to have a Perminant Disability, yet she suffered no consequence leaving me to suffer them alone with no loving support from her. I was made to feel different and not good enough because I couldn't play sports like my three sisters could. I have three sisters and two of them choose not to include me into their "family". I was abandoned by my own flesh and blood Family for reason I will never be able to understand because I never asked to be brought into this world. My Mother caused my Disability, yet I'm the only one that has to deal with the consequences on a DAILY BASIS!!!
I belong to no one. I have two Uncles and five Aunts who don't even know my full name let alone where I live. I see Cousins only when it comes time for a "Family Reunion" that comes once every five to ten years. We make nice, take pictures then don't speak or see each other for another ten years.
Here I am on my Second Marriage with two beautiful children trying to make a Family the best way I know how, but hell, I have no freaking clue thanks to my Parents who choose to bring me into their chaos trying to find themselves. My "mother" even called CPS on me because she thought it woud fix HER being an awful, unsupportive, absent parent. It didn't.
I belong to NO ONE.

Phil McGraw

At the end of the day, whether or not those people are comfortable with how you're living your life doesn't matter. What matters is whether you're comfortable with it.

-Phil McGraw

To New Beginnings

It's nice to have Owen back with us, unfortunately his attitude has gone back to the way it was. Octavian is so happy to have Owen back. When Owen gets home from school, Octavian won't leave his side!

Matt and I will be Celebrating Our Second Wedding Anniversary soon!

I've already got an idea for my next Birthday! I want to go to Wolf Creek, Oregon and stay at a Bed & Breakfast. It's still a while away, so we will see. I would love to go back to the Wolf Haven!!

We went to Hawaii this year, so next year Matt has decided we're getting an 82inch TV. I say the car fixes come first, so we will see :-)

Sunday morning at the beach

Octavian loves throwing the rocks into the water!! He loves the beach! Octavian is also very into The Cat in the Hat on PBS! HAS to watch it, seriously!

Hawaii for My 30th Birthday

Hawaii was amazing!! I'm so very happy Matt and I went. It was worth every penny (except the Horseback riding). We had a Beautiful view from our room, the free breakfast buffet was good and everyone was really nice. We snorkeled, went thru a valley on horseback and even Manta Ray night time snorkeling!! It was Awesome!

Who Am I?

I am a Woman who has overcome family abandonment and a severe Disability. I am a Woman who's created a loving Family. I am a supportive Wife to my Husband. I am a loving, protective Mother to two Beautiful Boys. I deserve Respect no matter what Decisions I make!

I AM Beautiful, Blunt, Bold, Caring, Colorful, Creative, Generous, Giving, Great, Savvy, Sarcastic and Smart.

I AM Selfless, Honest, Gentle, Determined, Kind, Loving, Friendly, Strong and Stubborn.

I am NOT Invisible! I am NOT a bad person! I am NOT a bad mother! I AM NOT MY DISABILITY!

I Deserve RESPECT no matter what decisions I make!

Octavian's 2nd Birthday

Octavian's second Birthday party was in the early afternoon. Bruce, Veronica, Grandma Betty and my father-in-law John came to celebrate. Matt and I decorated with Birthday banner, streamers and clover stuff. It looked good. I made a green cake with green frosting. The number two was made out of green gummy frogs and around the outside of the cake were green army men. It wasn't perfect but I thought it was great. I also made green scrambled eggs, green mac'n cheese, green jello that was clover shaped, green milk and even green orange juice! Octavian loved his presents and wasn't interested in the cake.